Wow. I had some pretty depressing shit to say last year, huh? I guess I was pretty depressed in general last year. I guess I've been pretty depressing for life.
See, up until recently I had this PROBLEM... I thought I was... ugly. I have this HUGE fuckin' nose, and my eyes are weird, like one seems bigger than the other, or higher on my face, I can't explain it, but they're weird... and that HUGE nose points in a certain direction and looks FUCKED UP in pictures, and my teeth aren't straight, and one is chipped. and I have CHIN FAT, and I'M FAT, and one of my titties is bigger than the other, and blah... blah... blah.
... and then there's the shit that I just suck, I'm not pretty, I didn't finish school, I'm STUPID and NOBODY LIKES ME, and I don't have a close relationship with my parents, and bad crap just KEEPS HAPPENING TO ME, and NOBODY WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH ME UNLESS THEY WANNA FUCK ME, and I don't even know why, because I'm UGLY!
Yes, that was me for 27 years. I don't even know when I began to see differently this last year, but at some point I did... I accepted the cold, hard truth... I'm actually beautiful. No really, I am! I have gorgeous eyes, awesome hair, stellar cheekbones, and a freakin' awesome figure! And I'm FUNNY and I'm LIKABLE and I'm EMPATHETIC, caring, loyal, and... lot's of stuff.
Anyways. I'm pretty optimistic about life now, even though my life SUCKS right now. I was all bubbles and sunshine at the beginning of the year, cause I was moving close to the city (yay!), I got a new job (yaay!), and I'd met this cute boy who seemed to dig me (YAY!), and I was slowing down with the drinking, and the drugs, and all that shit that was tearing me to pieces this summer when I'd said FUCK YOU, LIFE, WE'RE DONE! and was just waiting to die. I was genuinely happy!
... so yea, I can't really say I have the job anymore (Paulding Co. suspended my license and my LIFE!), and the boy isn't near as excited to see me anymore, but alas... IDGAF cause I found out this secret... ssshhh...
So, yeah. It'll all be okay.
life is short
love like no tomorrow
- OH LAWD! It's ME!